Insecurity

It never really goes away…

It comes and goes

Like the tide – it ebbs and flows;

Like the waves – it crashes to the shore then recedes;

Sometimes it erupts like a volcano after a period of dormancy

spewing magma from its core and flows along the slopes

scorching everything in its wake;

Sometimes it bleeds out

Like cloth fibers releasing dye when thrown in the wash

mixing in the water – ruining everything else that’s soaked in it;

And the worst thing, perhaps

is how it lurks in the background

of every thought…every encounter…every conversation,

concealing itself within gentle words of encouragement;

It hums constantly at a barely audible frequency

until a trigger amplifies the volume.

11.17.12

and when she saw that glint
of sadness in your eyes
did she ask you if you wanted to go
or whether you wanted to stay?
or did she take your face in her hand
and distract you with her seductive
kiss to make you forget
the sadness which clings to you?…

and when she felt the disregard
and the coldness in your touch
did she ask you if you loved her
and whether you still wanted her?
or did she take you in her arms
and laid your head to her bosom
to make you inhale her hypnotic scent
and lulled you into forgetting
your past love?…

and when she heard the hollowness
in your voice during rare conversations
did she ask you what your heart was feeling
and what it whispered in silence?
or did she sing you her song
to take your mind away from
the memories which you held intensely?…

did she love you?…does she love you still?…
how did she love you?…how much did she love you?
does my love compare?