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Dreaming

I dreamt I gave birth to blood and bones,

swallowed by the mud beneath my feet;

the walls were talking,

whispering about the trees and the sky.

I felt the wind on my face;

it rustled the leaves and passed through

the cracks between the walls

as I was taking off the skins I wore for the day;

I hung them on the outside patio to air them out.

I left traces of my shadow on the herringbone floor

as I walked from who I was to who I am –

the distance felt as short

as the expanse of the universe.

It made me wonder how far I was

from who I am to who I am becoming,

and when i looked through the pinhole,

it seemed as if I’ll get there

in just a couple of breaths.

And maybe if I keep at this pace,

I’ll arrive in a blink that only

takes a hundred lifetimes.

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On Emptiness

Perhaps the emptiness you feel does not need to be filled.

Perhaps it isn’t because your life lacks something.

Perhaps you just need to shift your perspective.

If you’ve gone inward and you’ve decided to go on this journey towards rediscovering who you are,

perhaps emptiness is just the beginning,

perhaps it is also the end – to empty yourself as much as you fill yourself;

allowing everything to just pass,

like a sieve, never holding on to anything or anyone;

realizing that everything is temporary – the highs, the lows,

love, loneliness, joy, grief, heartbreak, disappointments.

Perhaps, the emptiness is the space that has come naturally

after you’ve done the work, as they say.

When you’ve let go of your burdens, perhaps not all,

but as much as you are able to;

when you’ve released as much of or as little

of your resentments, your attachments,

your regrets, your expectations.

Perhaps, it is also God or the universe taking away

all that’s weighing you down,

to prepare you to welcome all the good things

that have always been yours,

all that is meant for you the very moment your soul was born.

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A Reminder

There are truths in this life that will never be your own;
great and awe-inspiring stories that will never be yours;
a love that you’ll never get to experience;
certain joys, sadness, pain, loss, and grief
that will never color your days.

But it doesn’t matter,
live your own truth, craft your own stories,
write your own kind of poetry
no matter how awkward it reads and
regardless if no one ever comes to read them,
and cherish whatever emotion comes
knocking at your door.

You have your own path to journey on
and your own pace to walk or to run on some occasions.
So stop looking outside of yourself
and go within, dive deep, dig –
until you unearth old memories
that have become unrecognizable, rusted,
and covered in a thick layer of dust
that comes with the passing of time
and cast them out to the wind or the sea,
or the universe within you –

The universe that never ceases to churn,
always expanding, exploding, and
rearranging itself as you journey forward;
cast them out and be at peace;
give yourself the grace that you deserve
and the kindness that others are unable to give.

But always remember these truths and keep them close –
you are the only you in this lifetime,
you have a beautiful soul,
and you are always loved.

Posted on by adlt1226

Musing on a Rainy Day

all this rain has put me in a contemplative mood (yet again) about the things that captured my attention this week:

finding out that the job i was in was not aligned with what the universe wants for me, that i should be an entrepreneur instead of a corporate slave…but the business would probably go bankrupt before we get the roi;

the tech guys at youtube have finally explored the edges of the known universe, made me wonder what they found;

a gloomy view from my desk – the dark clouds in the distance, wet asphalt, umbrellas, rain…at least the trees were happy;

the full moon – too bad i couldn’t witness the super blue moon because of the rain and the heavy clouds…it would have been a sight to behold for sure;

contemplated death and dying…that perhaps the fear that is normally associated with it isn’t because we’re actually afraid of dying, but rather it is the idea that we haven’t lived our lives fully – realizing the risks we didn’t take, the opportunities we let pass, the words we didn’t say and the words we did say, the people we were too afraid to love and take a chance on…that we didn’t dream big enough…all the possible regrets, and perhaps the attachments that hold us captive;

contemplated what separates settling and contentment – that apart from perspective, it is gratitude that shifts everything;

an idea struck and i wrote it down, encouraging myself, “you got this, you can do it, at least do it before you turn 40…”

and then i realized it’s only a few months away after hearing that popular song playing from my neighbor’s radio…🎶 whenever i see girls and boys selling lanterns on the street… 🎶 christmas always starts in september…

Posted on by adlt1226

Star-crossed Lovers

Our fates was not written with a happy ending.
A pair of star-crossed lovers who
mirrored each other, twin flames –
toxic, dysfunctional;
we rode a carousel endlessly, going round
and round and round.

But we didn’t care, we were intoxicated
and deliriously infatuated,
thinking it was true love;
thinking it was destiny at work;
thinking it was forever.

Until the disenchantment set in
and the world started spiraling out of control.
And there was no way for us to hold it together
even when we held it close to our hearts,
embracing it tightly, hoping to make it whole again
with whispers of I love you,
with tears, with caresses, and
the heat of your skin against mine,
calling out baby, over and over.

But our world was bound to spiral and end
no matter how hard we tried –
both in our dreaming and our waking.

And so we sat on the concrete park bench
under the rain – soaked and shivering,
holding hands,
our palms kissing instead of our lips
that spoke countless words other than goodbye;
delaying the hours, wishing the minutes were longer,
knowing we were holding hands for the last time.

Perhaps that’s why God made flowers
so beautiful, because endings
are just so heartbreakingly painful.

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Life, Continues

The wind still comes around,
bringing the scent of the changing seasons;
and the gentle breeze still blows the gauze curtain
inward, allowing love and magic to come in
through the open window.

The trees in the garden and the forest
just up ahead are still green;
the flowers are still blooming in different colors,
and the butterflies still flutter playfully,
gracefully flapping their wings,
leaving butterfly kisses in their wake.

The sky is still blue;
the sun still shines despite the towering clouds
and the rain it brings;
and the moon still comes to visit
in all its phases – waning and waxing.

The earth still turns – revolving around the sun,
following its orbit, and rotating on its axis.
Time still flows, fluctuating and directionless,
dilating in space;
new stars are born and old ones die –
imploding and exploding.

The soul is unending, undying and boundless;
it is cleansed and reborn in you and me,
and the universe continues to expand as we do –
infinitely, it is always beginning within you and me.

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Surrender

She was guided to let things be,
and let everything unfold without resistance.

And so, she let the glass break.
She let it shatter to a thousand pieces
and walked barefoot on the shards.

She lit a fire and watched her cage
and everything in it burn –
until there was nothing left but ash.

She let the rain fall upon her
and let it wash her clean –
until it soaked to her very bones.

She let the storm ravage every structure
that she’d built and waited
until all the foundations toppled over.

And she let the floods and the waves
wash away and swallow everything that
held her back in exchange for her liberation.

She held on to everything and nothing;
surrendered to all that is and
stepped into her light –
she had finally found her peace among the ruins of herself.

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Goddess Risen

For her, to love is to destroy the world
and stand on its ruins;
to love is to go through war but still come out victorious –
with enough energy to spare to sit on her throne,
light up a cigarette and have a glass of wine
without losing her grace.

She is goddess risen from flames and ash,
and to love her is to be a sentinel – to keep watch,
and be the banks to support her as she flows
in her most feminine, winding and stretching
to where she is destined to shine.

And to be loved by her is an honor;
to be in her presence, to bask in her radiance
and her light, to be embraced by her love is to heal;
and to listen to her wisdom
from the wars she’s won and lost
is to be blessed.

Posted on by adlt1226

If I Were to Look for Love

Giving up on love was never an option.
Regardless of the heartbreaks,
to love and be loved has always been the greatest
of desires.

And to vibrate in the frequency of love is perhaps
the ideal; to be in that state
where one overflows with love in all its forms
while experiencing this life
is perhaps our soul’s ultimate purpose.

And so if I were to look for love,
I’d like a love that’s been through all kinds of battles.
The kind that’s scarred but healed;
the kind that’s found its calm after the chaos.

I’d like a love that’s gone through life
but continues to overcome their tests and challenges,
and has defined what honors their peace –
whether it was to walk away,
to let go, to stand still, to hold on, to fight,
or to just be.

I’d like a love that comes in all its truth,
with openness and genuine sincerity
and without fear of being vulnerable.

I’d like a love that holds grace and space
– for all that comes, for all that goes,
for all that was and is, and for all that will be.

I’d like a love that honors me and all parts of me –
the good, the bad, the dark, the light,
the child, the insecurities, the flaws – all that is me,
and I shall honor theirs without ambivalence.

Posted on by adlt1226

I Wish You Well

My mind keeps circling back to your memory these days
and it’s been a bit difficult to stop it
from wandering towards you.
I noticed that each time I am on the verge of
completely letting everything fade naturally,
something pulls me back from taking that final step
– a song, your birthday,
the color of your eyes, a flower.

And today I’ve finally come to realize why –
you were my first leap of faith in a while
and your appearance was quite serendipitous,
you already know this.

Now, more than ever, I am certain that
you were sent by the divine,
and that’s the only reason I can come up with
to explain why you hold a very special place in my heart –
your memories have taken root and it’s difficult pull out.

At this point, I am giving in to this persistent thought –
it’s getting a bit tiring to go against the longing in my heart.
So I’d like to tell you that, wherever you are,
I hope that you are happy;
I hope that you find success in all your pursuits;
I hope that you are safe and healthy;
I hope that all of the issues you had before have been resolved;
I hope you find time to rest;
I hope that you take time to appreciate
each sunrise and sunset, to gaze upon the moon;
I hope you make time to breathe deeply
and feed your soul with whatever brings it joy;
I hope you’ve found your peace,
and ultimately, I wish you well.

Yours sincerely,